A sad Darren

heyz ppl, i hadn't blog for like dun know how long...but i guess i really needed a channel to express my frustration. . .here's the story. .

A few weeks ago, i am poised to have:
Darren- 2 Team Display Events + 1 Individual stick event

One week ago,
Darren- 1 Individual Stick Event (J1s took my place)

Today,
Darren- Losing my only event (J1s again!!!)

haha, this sucks man. . i asked myself why. . .
is it because i am not pushing on hard enough???

Ans: Nope, i attended all the Tues, Wed, Fri and Sun trainings. . .and do u tink it is easy to cope with this plus all the tutorials and lectures??? NO!! i have been struggling all this while. .

Then why??

Ans: Cos my body suxs. . how the hell do i control that stupid lump of muscle which always hardens!!!!

My teammates have been supportive of me, but i am jus like a hypocrite. . faking that everything is alright, the more i act, the more hurts i get. . how does it like to lose something which u have been training so hard!!

If i am jus a normal member, i could jus find a hole, and disappear. . but i am the Vice President of Wushu, how am i suppose to jus disappear. . .wat a disgrace. . .Vice President made no contribution to CCA. . .

But it shows me the reality of life. . .